37 Comments

It was almost eerie reading this because I did a one-woman show once and when it didn't play out like I hoped, I went through every step and thought and emotion exactly as you describe here. But then you did more and offered a way out of the mental swamp, so thank you :)

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proud of you for writing this

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TY Leigh for everything.

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i'd a fucking killed myself...you got a good attitude.

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fave response so far

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I hope you have some idea of how helpful this story is. You failed UP, and we benefit from your resilience and wisdom. Thank you!

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thank you Sandy!!! <3

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It happens more than many of us would like to admit! I made a vow to query 100 agents, and was at 83 when I got two offers of representation. The agent I chose worked with me for a year but couldn’t sell it. As I was processing this, my son died by suicide. I couldn’t write for 2 years. When I finally felt strong enough to write, I tackled that same novel with the help of an outside editor, and a small press picked it up. It was published and earned a Hoffer Finalist Award and a Sarton Women’s Fiction Finalist Award. Don’t ever quit.

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thats HUGE! what an amazing outcome. I am so sorry to hear about your son, Linda. Your resilience is truly inspiring. I am going to keep you + this story in mind as I game out my plan for 'The Raise.' thank you for the inspiration and for sharing this with me.

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You’re welcome. <3

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Thanks, but I am a Successful Failure.

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we can be that too!!!

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What an honest, thoughtful piece!

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thank you Isabel! thank you for reading

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Gah! I need closure! Self publish the book and I will read the fuck out of it!!

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i’m noodling on it!!! updates to come :)

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You are not. Fool or a failure.

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thank you Chris. i appreciate you.

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I recently had a knitting pattern I was really proud and had worked on for a year of not sell a single copy. Moping around for a week or so was definitely part of the healing process. Thanks for sharing your process for working yourself to a better mental place!

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i’m so glad it helped. i definitely

tried to focus on action items and realistic steps and self talk to get to that better mental place versus woo woo “it’s all for the best, this is all part of the universe’s plan.” the moping for a week is step 1!!!

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Can't tell you how deeply I relate to this as a 2x pandemic grad post entertainment industry strike. So appreciative of the openness and transparency here, during a time when it's desperately needed!

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I loved reading this! I went through the exact same experience - my book went on submission in 2021 and every editor who read it had different feedback, which just cemented to me how subjective the industry is. Once my agent and I decided to set the book aside, I couldn't read for a while too. I've drafted two novels since then, and I also feel cautious about being confident. It's like I don't know what the "correct" level of confidence in my writing is, but I'm working on it. It''s comforting to know that my feelings weren't isolated!

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yes!!! the waffling in your own confidence thing is so real. i’m glad i’m not the only one who is going through that specific process. i think what you can personally feel confident about is that you kept going and trying and producing. i’ve yet to pull another idea out of my ass so you’re way ahead of me angel

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And this is why I absolutely cherish our existential conversations about art and business. Thank you for sharing with such openness and courage. This was a delight to read.

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🖤🖤🖤 thank u for reading angel and i cherish them equally as much

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Thank you for writing this! May I share with my book proposal students this week? Sending you the biggest hug right now. 🫶🏽

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10000%

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Ali! I’m sure it took so much to write this but I’m glad you did ♥️

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thank you <3 I appreciate you always

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You wrote a book! An entire world! It’s a huge accomplishment. I like you, your writing, your vibe, style, and I was looking forward to the book and buying it. I was sure someone would pick it up. They missed the opportunity this time. Keep going and doing you! Thank you for sharing! ❤️

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I completely agree that they missed out - and that confidence is what keeps me going. Excited for whatever pulls me in next. and thank you so much for the encouragement! will noodle on self publishing in the meantime <3 appreciate u

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