Why is this my life right now, and the thing is this person isn’t a huge influencer she just has something I want (which is being desired) and because of this I’ve put her on this pedestal and automatically want her entire life even though just one aspect of her life appeals to me. All of a sudden she’s occupying my thoughts and I want to keep tabs. I really hate this feeling.
it’s totally natural and something our brains hook into without our control. give yourself grace when you can. what has helped me in the past is really reiterating every day the parts about ME and my life that I love through journaling, hanging out with people that reinforce those themes in myself, and honestly detaching from the limerent object and refraining from the urge to do the check-ins. whenever you feel the urge, pour into yourself instead doing one small thing you love. even if it’s just cooking a little meal or calling a friend or doing your nails. 🖤
You are a dream client! It is interesting to think about the relationship between limerance and parasocial relationships… is the person in a parasocial relationship oblivious to their limerance? Or can limerance go too far and turn into fantasy of relationship that doesn’t exist?
I think sometimes people are oblivious to their limerence when it does go too far. i think its normal to take inspo from other people + women online, but I think young women in particular who are SUPER impressionable start slowly molding to the influencers they see/follow/admire on tik tok or IG without realizing they are ceding their true identity to those online avatars. I feel like this is why so many microtrends pop off so rapidly and die so quickly, why many women of a certain generation go out in the same tops + high waisted jeans, and why for a period everyone's interior design mimicked that beige/bland aesthetic started by Kim K that was repeated by affiliate influencers on reels + tik tok. they havent incubated their own personalities OFFLINE/in private so they glug glug glug whatever's online from these women they want to BE, then mirror it, then become it, and their actual self gets fully diluted or erased along the way. the reference overtakes them. but this is limerencelight. like, idk that im saying these girls think they KNOW or have a relationship with the limerent object in this case.
Why is this my life right now, and the thing is this person isn’t a huge influencer she just has something I want (which is being desired) and because of this I’ve put her on this pedestal and automatically want her entire life even though just one aspect of her life appeals to me. All of a sudden she’s occupying my thoughts and I want to keep tabs. I really hate this feeling.
it’s totally natural and something our brains hook into without our control. give yourself grace when you can. what has helped me in the past is really reiterating every day the parts about ME and my life that I love through journaling, hanging out with people that reinforce those themes in myself, and honestly detaching from the limerent object and refraining from the urge to do the check-ins. whenever you feel the urge, pour into yourself instead doing one small thing you love. even if it’s just cooking a little meal or calling a friend or doing your nails. 🖤
You are a dream client! It is interesting to think about the relationship between limerance and parasocial relationships… is the person in a parasocial relationship oblivious to their limerance? Or can limerance go too far and turn into fantasy of relationship that doesn’t exist?
I think sometimes people are oblivious to their limerence when it does go too far. i think its normal to take inspo from other people + women online, but I think young women in particular who are SUPER impressionable start slowly molding to the influencers they see/follow/admire on tik tok or IG without realizing they are ceding their true identity to those online avatars. I feel like this is why so many microtrends pop off so rapidly and die so quickly, why many women of a certain generation go out in the same tops + high waisted jeans, and why for a period everyone's interior design mimicked that beige/bland aesthetic started by Kim K that was repeated by affiliate influencers on reels + tik tok. they havent incubated their own personalities OFFLINE/in private so they glug glug glug whatever's online from these women they want to BE, then mirror it, then become it, and their actual self gets fully diluted or erased along the way. the reference overtakes them. but this is limerencelight. like, idk that im saying these girls think they KNOW or have a relationship with the limerent object in this case.
I cannot relate to this at all 😂 I think I’ve always defined myself oppositionally.
its the way I experience this with a different woman every other year sigh!
oh i have very much been there 🫣😮💨